What kind of faces are we showing or causing others to have?
The act of sniffing a candle does not fall at the top of my “All-time favorites” list.
The act of lighting a candle does not fall at the top of my “All-time favorites” list.
Cleaning up the residue of broken glass from a candle that had been burning so that it may release its scented self into the atmosphere and then decided to heat the glass and cause it to shatter, burn a tablecloth, and scorch a part of a wooden table does not fall at the top of my “All-time favorites” list.
However, watching my wife and son’s faces after they sniff and pass unlit candles to one another in a store is one of my favorite things to see.
They have what my wife and I call candle face. Their faces light up, no pun intended, and they excitedly pass a candle to one another so they can enjoy the smells of “Fresh Laundry, Strawberry Swirl, and Bahama Breeze.”
I will admit that some of the candles create a pleasant ambiance in a house that contains two men and a dog. My wife deserves some olfactory relief, and that is why I don’t whine and complain too much about lit candles. Well, not as much as I have before. Most of the time the candles are on candle warmers with no open flame.
Whenever we pass by a candle, perfume, or any other type of kiosk that sells pungent-smelling items, I hold my breath until the air clears. Strong, fragrant smells cause me pain in my brain. It feels as if an ice pick is plunged up my nose and continually stabs my brain.
The softer aromas that present themselves more like subtle reminders are more welcoming to my senses.
Many times, when we enjoy something - odors, visuals, sounds, tastes, or feelings - we want to share them and hope that others appreciate and enjoy them in the same ways that we do. Sometimes it is difficult for us when someone we think will share our enthusiasm doesn’t respond at the level of acceptance that we wished.
Too many times I have caught myself trying to convince others how awesome a song or piece of music is because I think it is amazing. Instead, I should accept that they have different tastes.
That is okay!
My wife and son enjoy the “Ice pick up the nose” candle scents, and I don’t.
That is okay!
To me, there are two types of candle faces. The “Pleasant, Ahhhh, and Satisfying” face, and the “Squinched-up Ice pick up the nose” face.
I have finally begun to understand that not everyone experiences things the same way. Not everyone enjoys the same things.
For example: Some people enjoy listening to Country Music, and others have a taste in music.
That is okay!
(Psssst…just kidding about the Country Music stab. If I didn’t take a jab at Country Music, my friend Toby would think that I have gotten a little mental in my old age.)
A couple of years ago I was playing my trumpet in different groups in the Ft. Myers area. I was having a great time working on my sound within the concert band setting, my lead chops in a few big band groups, and my improvisation skills in some cover bands as well as pick-up gigs.
My goal, as a musician, is to give people the chance to express the “Pleasant Candle Face” experience when I play my trumpet.
However………..
I have caused people to express the “Ice pick up the nose candle face” a few times.
I would like to take a few seconds and revisit a story I wrote about a while back. In this story, I caused the “Ice pick” face.
I was asked to play lead trumpet in a group.
I played the lead book.
I played high notes.
I played at an intense volume at times.
The trombone players, one in particular, responded to my playing with the “Ice pick up the nose candle face.”
The band leader asked me to reposition myself so that I was aiming my trumpet at the floor instead of the back of the trombone section's seats.
Typically, I would aim at the lower back of the chairs of the section of musicians that sat in front of me so that my sound would be slightly diffused and not become piercing arrows of sound at the audience when I played lead. I would not aim at the floor because the floors were typically hardwood and my sound would bounce off the floor, ricochet as it transformed into an ice pick, and then pierce the noses of audience members.
But I did as the band leader requested, only to be told that I needed to play softer or use a mute all of the time.
My reply was, “The music is written for the lead part to play, F, G, and A’s above high C, and if I were to play them with a soft volume or with a mute in the horn, it would be best to not play the part at all.” The band leader agreed, to a degree, but asked if I could play a little softer or play the part down an octave.
I did.
However……
The lead part was doubled down the octave already, and so instead of telling another trumpet player to lay out while I played, I decided to lay out.
Did that fix the situation?
Nope.
The Ice pick-up-the-nose-face was still being expressed by the trombone player, and he stood up and threw a temper tantrum about how I was causing hearing loss because of how loud and high I was playing straight into the back of his head.
It didn’t matter to this guy that the rest of the trumpet section said that I wasn’t playing at all; the trombone player yelled and continued on with his fit.
The old me, a very immature and totally cocky trumpet attitude, would have loved to have increased my volume and positioned myself at the back of his head.
However…..
Even though the old me would have loved to be the immature jerk, I would have never followed through. It would have been a thought that I allowed but would have never done anything to cause someone else harm.
Instead, I told the trumpet section to lay out on quite a few unison passages except for one player. I had the trumpet player who played the part only play at a mezzo forte.
Guess what happened?!?!?!
The trombone player got mad that I was still playing too loud, and he threatened to quit the band. He didn’t believe that only one trumpet player was playing, that she sat at the end of the section away from him, and that she played at a mezzo forte.
Needless to say, I think that there was and never will be a Fresh Laundry, Strawberry Swirl, or Bahama Breeze sound that will give that trombone player a Pleasant Candle face.
That is too bad, in my opinion.
On a side note, the same trombone player got mad because he didn’t get to play a trombone solo on a Maynard Ferguson ballad that I was playing in the group. The final result was…we didn’t play the tune.
That is okay!
I have mentioned two types of faces in this blog: the “Pleasant candle face” and the “Ice Pick up the nose candle face.” At this time, I would like to mention another type of face. This type of face has nothing to do with candles at all. Instead, it has to do with acceptance, appreciation, groove, funk, rock, and complete awesomeness!
That face is called, “The Stank Face!”
We all know the stank face.
Some may think of it in a negative way; however, if you are given the stank face or do the stank face while you are playing music, that is an honor.
I will not try to explain what a stank face looks like, simply because it is different for everyone. If I were to try and explain the stank face appearance, it would be the same as me trying to convince someone to like the same music that I do or look at something through the same lens that I do.
The stank face is unique to each person, and in a music setting, it is one of the highest accolades a musician can receive.
So, in closing this month’s blog, I wish all of the Pleasant candle face and stank face accolades to you this July.
Be sure to look for reasons to express those faces and, better yet, try to create situations that you give others the chance to express the pleasant candle and stank faces!