Lots of life happens.
I strive to keep my blogs positive. I will maintain my spirit of positivity even though I will briefly discuss the topic of loss.
Life, love, and loss are all positives with a dash of not-so-positives. (Did you see how skillfully I stayed away from using the word negative?)
Life happens. A simple statement and often overused as an excuse by people when they make choices in their lives that result in less than positive results.
In reality, life really does happen. Sometimes curveballs, screwballs, and oddballs are thrown at us, and how we respond to them can and will affect our lives. Right now, I am in the batter's box and the curve, screw, and oddballs are being flung at varying speeds. My reaction and response to each of the pitches can result in a strikeout, base hit, or home run. Since I refuse to swing my bat aimlessly, I am letting some of the pitches pass by, and when it is outside of the strike zone, I relax when a “Ball!” is called. A strike may sneak by occasionally, but a strikeout will not happen.
My work schedule is arranged in a way that I am unable to participate in gigs on Fridays and Saturdays. There are times I may get out of work early enough to make an evening gig; however, since I am new in the area, no one knows that I can show up for a gig and read the book. Yet, they don’t know that about me…yet.
Playing my trumpet is an expression of love and a way for me to relax and refuel.
I love playing my trumpet, entertaining, and helping people enjoy live music and forget about life for a while. With so much life happening, my chance to practice my trumpet diminishes, but the love of playing continues to burn.
Now for the discussion of loss.
A dilemma occurs when life happens so much that my trumpet waits in the bullpen for an indeterminate amount of time. What is the dilemma, you may ask? The dilemma is that by not practicing and playing, I have a loss of range and endurance in my playing.
I know that my chops will recover and the loss is temporary; however, it is still a bit frustrating. The more I play, the better my endurance, accuracy of my range, and the sounds of music fill the love meter of all.
Our lives are filled with life, love, and loss. Our responses to the different pitches of life can help us to thrive and help others, too. There is so much more to loss that can be discussed. I, as well as so many other people in the world, have lost people in our lives. Family members, fellow musicians, friends, and acquaintances that we may not have been close to, but were still an integral part of our growing up and shaping our lives. In a moment of transparency, I am not sure I have allowed myself to grieve for the loss of my parents. However, every time I play my horn, I always think of two things about my parents. 1. My dad would say, “Gotta make them cry.” 2. My mom would ask me if I was planning on playing the plunger solo for the tune, “Blues in the Night,” which I played in marching band my Senior year of high school. I miss them, can't wait to see them again, and love playing my horn and remembering them in a way that was personal to me and meaningless to others.
Switching gears back to positivity about loss.
Since I have been working at Universal Studios, I have lost 30 pounds, my cardio is better than it has been in years, and I get to fit into my old tux I used years ago for gigs.